moods don't command you

Hello dearest readers, thank you for your patience.

I was sucked into pure domestic bliss and gorgeous, inconsequential hobbies like knitting and breadmaking before jetting off for a wonderful, whimsical, weighted-down-by-sleep-deprivation-but-whatever-i’ll-sleep-when-I’m-dead Australian tour. I’ve sat down to write this newsletter 3 or 4 times in the last few months and never really felt ready or rested enough or clear on what I even wanted to say. I sit here today, mind and spirit clocking in at 8 am tomorrow, while my body sits in CST, 3 pm to be exact. No time like the present to catch you up, I reckon. A lot has happened since my last update, good and bad, but I suppose it most relevant to start with what’s most recently gone down in my world.

Firstly, thank you so much to everyone who came out to a show this year. We played our final one of 2024 in Hobart and it was so lovely. The entire tour felt like some beautiful, bizarre alternate universe with dear friends and great food and 4 coffees a day because I couldn’t help myself. I loved each tour we did this year but Australia was such a sweet, special way to round it all out. Far far away from home, we felt so warmly welcomed. Thanks to everyone who came and sang along (some of the loudest singing all year!) and a special shoutout to our dearest pals in Good Morning, who really made the trip feel like a vacation to visit friends.

Just before I took off for Australia I found out that I was nominated for a Grammy award for Best Americana Album. I didn’t grow up longing for a Grammy because I never in one million years thought that it was a possibility, playing GBV covers in my parents basement. I often say that the road map for my music career kind of ran out of road after I released Saint Cloud. I’ve always considered myself to be ambitious but at this point I’m in a beautiful, mysterious fever dream and I just feel so lucky to get to wake up everyday and continue doing this as my job. The day the news dropped my phone blew up more than it does on my birthday. The circle of people around me who made the record everything it is, from those who worked on the music side, the marketing side, the visuals and everything in between has grown a lot at this point. I was so happy to share a little W with each and every one of them. It’s such a massive honor and I appreciate it so much. Some of my most decorated friends and colleagues reached out, all imparting the same sage sentiment, more or less : these types of milestones/accolades aren’t meant to be the aim, but when they come you should let yourself bask in it for a moment. I basked, I received every kindness, and I say thank you thank you thank you for all your congratulations.

I also appreciate the Tigers Blood love now that we’re all circling up and considering what we enjoyed most this year. I made a list of my favorite songs that came out in 2024, in no particular order:

Where’s Your Love Now - This Is Lorelei

Coast - Kim Deal

Waterworks - 1010 Benja

Clock Keeps Ticking - Bonny Doon

Soft Rock Band - Good Morning

Buffalo - Hurray For the Riff Raff

Life Is - Jessica Pratt

Inconsolable - Katie Gavin

Sympathy Is a Knife - Charli XCX

Bark At The Moon - MJ Lenderman

Backyard Lover - Merce Lemon

Scorpio - Brennan Wedl

II Most Wanted - Beyonce feat. Miley Cyrus

Revelator - Phosphorescent

Lorelei - Sharp Pins

Timelapse - Dora Jar

For good measure, I also made a list of songs I listened to a lot this year, that did not come out in the last 12 months:

I Like What You’re Doing (To Me) - Carla Thomas

Catapult - R.E.M.

The Worst In You - Andy Shauf

Expert In a Dying Field - the Beths

Dreams Come True - Dolly Mixture

That’s Just the Way That I Feel - Purple Mountains

The Emperor’s New Clothes - Sinead O’Conner

Carolyn’s Fingers - Cocteau Twins

Dolly - Tierra Whack

I’ll Keep It With Mine - Nico

Flirted With You All My Life - Vic Chestnutt

Sorrow - David Bowie

Prayer Song - the Charlottes

Capturing Moods - Rilo Kiley

Recently in lieu of a New Year’s resolution I’ve been choosing a word that I will try to carry around with me, like a photo in my wallet, reminding me of ways to challenge myself, try something different, all in the name of growth. I started 2 years ago and 2023 became my year of “truth”. I’ve struggled, as many of us do, with people-pleasing and throughout the year I pushed myself to be truthful with myself and others. I had so many breakthroughs and really just through practicing honesty I think I changed, forever, for the better. I ended some relationships, turned towards others and what I found is that there is always a polite way to tell the truth. At the start of 2024 I chose “joy”. Now, I know how that sounds. “Joy” seems like a crazy thing to pick in such a dark, chaotic time. Here was my reasoning: In my day to day I have a tendency to really put my head down and just get whatever done that needs to get done at any given moment. I assume many of you are the same and of course this is just what it takes to be an adult person moving through the world sometimes. I’m goal-oriented, I like being productive, but I can let myself turn into a joyless task-completer easily and with that I can radiate resentment or lethargy or depression or really start disassociating. I knew 2024 was going to be hectic and so I made a conscious choice to look for joy in my cluttered, clunky, travel-heavy year ahead. The year isn’t over but I do think I’ve grown into a more positive person, acting in good faith, nurturing the relationships that matter to me, trying to just go where it's warm. I also feel like I really built off of “truth”, letting this year sort of coalesce into a marriage of advocating for honesty while also seeking out the simplest happiness where I can. Its been a good exercise and I’m still thinking on what 2025’s word should be and how to best piggyback off of truth and joy. “Action”? “Communication”? I’m workshopping. I’ll check in this time next year and let you know how its going.

That’s it for now! My second Tiny Desk Concert is up! Because I don’t want to fish for compliments I’ll refrain from sounding too self-deprecating here BUT my original Tiny Desk does, in my opinion, leave some room for improvement. It’s giving endearingly green and inexperienced and tiny bangs she cut herself in a hurry. It’s a sweet little relic of my early 20s but I am thrilled to have been given the opportunity to go back and do it again as a full grown adult with my band and some newer songs. Thank you to NPR for having us! You can watch that here.

OH and how could I forget, a fun little thing that I’m soft announcing today & officially announcing Wednesday! If you are in the Los Angeles area on my birthday (January 4th), won't you please come celebrate with me, my birthday twin D’arcy Carden and my actual twin Allison Crutchfield at Largo?? Some of you may have seen Allison and my show at Vulture Fest a couple years ago where we invited guests to come sing songs they loved as teens. We took that idea and ran with it, inviting former guest D’arcy to join as a host to celebrate all of our birthdays live, on stage, singing covers with an amazing band and truly jaw-dropping guests that we probably won’t even announce but who knows maybe we will. It’ll be a riot. It’ll be funny. It’ll make you cry. It’ll make you dance. It’s our Sweet Sixteen. Be on the lookout for the official announcement along with the link for tickets this Wednesday 12/18!

Sending everyone love and a very Happy New Year!

-KC